Go Love Go!
by MrDrP
Summary: Blackmail. Attitudinator mishaps. Time share lairs.  Unexpected alliances. Lip smacking.  It's all here as Steve Barkin seeks to win the heart of Miss Go.  Takes place immediately after the end of Stop Team Go! [COMPLETE]


Special thanks to campy for beta and proofreading this story. Special thanks, too, to johnrie18 who got this ball rolling. They both offered suggestions that enhanced this tale.

As always, leave a review, get a response.

If you saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney

* * *

I.

A dejected Steve Barkin limped away from the lair trailing purple petals in his wake.

Thanks to the Alsatians, his clothes were in tatters and his ukulele, which he'd used to ward off the hostile guard dogs, was battered beyond all recognition. The ill-tempered canines, however, while responsible for the sorry state of Barkin's wardrobe and musical instrument, could not be blamed for the current condition of his hair, which was frazzled and smoking. Steve Barkin's Very Bad Hair Day was the result of the coruscating red energy beam that had lanced out from a concealed muzzle on the cliff side to envelop and shock him.

The Middleton High educator didn't want to admit it, but it was pretty clear that Miss Go was sending him a message, one he didn't want to receive since he was still smitten with the green-hued woman. Barkin made his way home, feeling as blue as a semi-competent supervillain and wondering what had contributed to his erstwhile colleague's sudden change in attitude towards him.

II.

Shego stretched out on her chaise lounge, turned on her sun lamp, and began to toast. She smirked as she lay there and recalled Steve Barkin's pathetic attempt to serenade her. The man's musical abilities were on a par with Drakken's, which wasn't saying much.

Still, a small part of her was flattered that Stevie had come calling. That showed gumption: not everyone would walk up to a villain's lair, drop to one knee, and begin singing. And, to Stevie's credit, he hadn't been wearing that awful checked sports-jacket he'd donned the night they'd double-dated with Princess and the Buffoon. Now that was criminal …

Shego mused briefly on the way Barkin would look at her in frank admiration, but then shook her head. She just couldn't see how she and the gruff educator could make something work. Besides, he'd probably lost any interest in her after his run-in with Drakken's dogs.

Not one to dwell on the past, she turned her attention to the latest issue of _Villain's Digest – Vacation Edition_.

III.

Barkin had showered, salved his wounds, and changed into his earth-tone pajamas and chocolate brown robe. He was now comfortably ensconced in his favorite chair, a cup of cocoa moo and the special double issue of _Popular Warfare_ before him.

The one-time member of America's armed forces was perusing the table of contents when the titles of two articles caught his eye: "Psych! Mind Control and the Modern Warrior" and "Get In? Get Out!: The Fine Art of Infiltration." Barkin turned to the first story, then began reading.

When the former military man had finished reading his favorite periodical, he was pretty sure he knew how to regain the affections of Miss Go and what he had to do to make that happen.

IV.

"Hi K– Mr. Barkin?" a surprised Wade said.

"Roger that, Computer Guy," Barkin said as he furtively looked about. He knew the halls were supposed to be empty since the students were in class. Still, it never hurt to be sure.

"Can I help you?" Wade asked.

"Affirmatory," Barkin replied. "Tell me what you know about Miss Go."

"You mean Shego?"

"No, Miss Go," Barkin said.

"But they're the same person," Wade protested.

"No they're not," Barkin said. "Miss Go wanted to kiss me. Shego wants to kick me. There's a big difference there. Trust me."

"Okay," Wade said, not sure where the conversation was going. "Miss Go was the mirror opposite of Shego."

"Explain," Barkin ordered.

"She was hit by an Attitudinator," the tech guru said before he told the teacher how the device worked.

Wade had just confirmed Barkin's theory. A little brain-wave manipulation could bring back the object of his affections.

"Where can I get one?" Barkin asked. "Not that I or any law-abiding citizen would want such a device," he added hastily.

"You can't," Wade said. "Jack Hench stopped selling them. Too many lawsuits."

"So there aren't any more anywhere?"

"Not unless Ron kept his," Wade said with a chuckle.

V.

Kim and Ron carefully surveyed the empty corridor. Sneaking into villain's lairs? No big! Being suspended over shark tanks? So not the drama! Being caught in the midst of PDA by Steve Barkin … that was a wholly different matter.

Prudence suggested they wait until the end of the school day when they could leave campus and lock lips to their hearts' content. Prudence, however, did not have the hormones of a seventeen-year-old of either sex. Simply put, Kim needed her Ronshine and Ron needed his five-alarm KP kisses. Believing the coast was clear the two heroes embraced and began lip-smacking with gusto.

VI.

Steve Barkin grinned as he saw the two teens commit a flagrant violation of the Middleton High PDA policy.

"Gotcha," he said softly.

VII.

Slightly flushed and very happy, the world-saving teens headed back to their classes. Kim was off to English Lit while Ron had to endure yet more Health Education. When they arrived at Kim's classroom, the auburn-haired hero gave her tow-headed BFBF a chaste buss on the cheek and headed into the room.

Having left his lady off at her class, Ron, feeling quite pleased with life, sauntered off to Health Ed. Nothing, not even a movie with bad production values, was going to spoil his day. Or so he thought.

VIII.

"Stoppable!" Barkin bellowed, enjoying the way unbridled fear seized the freckle-faced youth.

"Mr. B?" the teen nervously said in reply.

"Regulation 45, section B, paragraph iii. Do you know what it says, mister?"

"Uh, no," Ron admitted.

"No member of the United States Armed Forces shall go into battle while wearing a clown suit!"

Ron rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his teacher, convinced the older man had finally lost it. "Yeah, uh, sir, no disrespect intended, but …"

"But what? You want to make some punk hand gestures?" Barkin snapped.

"Aw, c'mon, I was just trying to liven up Picture Day!" Ron whined.

"So you say," Barkin said, disbelief in his voice. "I know your kind, Stoppable: disrespecting rules, subverting order, planning to cohabitate turtles and cats, violating school PDA policy."

"Look, I told Mr. Smarty about the turtles and …" Ron's response trailed off before he said, "Uh oh."

"Uh oh, indeed, mister," Barkin said as he loomed over Ron. "The kisses on the cheek I can tolerate, barely, given the improvement, as limited as it may be, in your grades. But what you and Possible were doing in A Hall! Cheese and crackers, this is a family school!" The teacher watched his prey squirm before asking, "You know what happens when you violate PDA policies?"

"All-expenses-paid, one-way trip to Detention?" Ron suggested as his shoulders slumped.

"For both of you," Barkin said. "And I call your parents."

Ron's eyes grew wide with fear as he imagined Mr. Dr. P's reaction to the news that his daughter had been given detention because she'd been swapping spit with her BF at school. "I am so dead," he moaned.

"You probably are. Possible's dad will probably forbid you from ever seeing her again," Barkin mused.

"You really think so?" a terrified Ron asked. Kim was not only his GF, she was his best friend, his whole world (along with Smarty Mart, that is). The idea of being separated from her was too awful to contemplate.

"Oh yes, Romeo," Barkin answered. "You might as well begin thinking about monastic life."

"But I'm Jewish!" Ron protested.

"I was speaking metaphorically," an exasperated Barkin said before regaining his composure. "However, I might be able to offer an alternative scenario."

"An alternative scenario?" Ron echoed. "I'm all about alternative scenarios if they let me keep my girlfriend and avoid the wrath of Dad P!"

"Good," Barkin said as he wrapped his arm around Ron's shoulder and began leading him down the hall to his office

"Uh, Mr. Barkin," Ron wondered aloud. "Don't we have Health Ed?"

"You really want to watch another movie with no plot and awful production values?"

"No, not really," Ron said.

"Then quit your yapping and follow me …"

IX.

Kim went to her locker after class. She spun the combination and opened the door. Her curiosity was piqued when she found a note from Ron.

_Yo! Bon-diggity GF (a/k/a KP),_

_Had to run an errand with Mr. B. Will talk with you later._

_Your badical BF,_

_Ron_

Kim smiled at Ron's note. She was disappointed that she wouldn't get to hang out at Bueno Nacho with her BF but assumed that Ron and Mr. Barkin went off to do some Smarty Mart business, and the idea of Ron taking his job seriously pleased her immensely. _My BF really is turning into Ron Sponsible_, she thought happily.

She was about to shut the door to her locker when she decided she'd use her free time to contact Wade. She'd not spoken with her young friend much lately as things had been quiet on the villain front and thought it would be nice to catch up with him. Kim activated the comm link with Wade.

"Hey Wade, what up?" she asked as his image appeared on screen.

"Not much, Kim. The bad guys seem to be quiet," the tech guru replied.

"That's fine by me," the teen hero said, "Especially after that way freaky sitch with Shego and Team Go. Talk about ten point five on the weirdness scale! Shego and me acting like BFFs was strange enough, but watching Shego and Mr. Barkin make eyes at one another was so the romantic drama."

"Mr. Barkin and Shego liked each other?" Wade asked as his super-sized intellect began making connections.

"Understatement much?" Kim said. "You know how Ron looks when he gets a new release of Zombie Mayhem?"

"Sort of like when you kiss him?" Wade asked impishly.

"So not helping," Kim said as she turned beet red. "But yes, that's how they looked at each other, but even more so. Ron and I went on a date with them and if you think we can get lost in each other you should have seen Shego and 'Stevie' …"

"This is not good," Wade moaned.

"Okay, spill, Wade," Kim observed with rising alarm as she saw the look on her friend's face. "And please tell me this doesn't involve any bun warmers."

X.

"On a scale of one to sick and wrong this isn't so bad, is it? I mean it's not like the bun warmer. Shego liked Mr. Barkin. And they're both adults. It's not like Wade and Monique, right? This time we're talking about two adults, both of whom willingly went on a date. Sure, one of them was under the control of a mind-altering device, but she had fun, right? Yeah. It's cool. Everything's cool. Just super," Ron said before he groaned, "Kim is so going to kill me."

"Uh huh," Rufus agreed.

"Stoppable, stop your yammering," Barkin growled, "and keep moving."

"Look, not that I'm questioning your taste in the ladies," Ron observed as he began moving forward again, his old Attitudinator in his backpack. "Shego is definitely one badical babe, not as hot as Kim, oh, man I can't believe I just said that to you, maybe we can just forget this part of the conversation, 'kay? 'Kay …"

Barkin did his best to control his breathing. Putting up with Stoppable's prattling was a small price to pay to get back the object of his affections.

XI.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Bartley," Kim said as she stood at the plane's open door. She would have preferred taking the Sloth, but Jim and Tim were in the midst of upgrading the car's electronics suite.

"It's the least I could do since you saved my daughter's wedding."

"It's no big, though the thanks go to Ron. He was happy to cook for 300."

Kim jumped out of the plane and began her power dive down to Drakken's lair.

As Mr. Bartley flew on to his original destination, he had just one question, one it was fortunate Kim did not hear him voice: who was Ron?

XII.

"There she is," Ron whispered as he pointed to Shego who was stretched out on a couch, reading a magazine as she listened to her mePod.

"She's a green and black vision in beauty," Barkin rhapsodized.

"Yeahhh," Ron agreed, weirded out by the soft side of his usually gruff teacher.

The two men tip-toed towards their quarry. They took cover behind a bank of equipment that was right next to Shego's chair. There, Ron removed the Attitudinator from his backpack. Before the tow-headed teen could hand it to Barkin the impatient educator had grabbed the device from his student's hands.

"Get ready for some lovin', sugar," Barkin growled.

"Oh, man, I so did not need to hear that," Ron groused.

Ignoring Ron, Barkin tip-toed up to Shego. He was about to place the helmet on her head when …

XIII.

… Red lights began flashing and klaxons began blaring.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" a computerized voice announced.

Drakken sighed a breath of relief when he saw the unwanted visitor was none other than Kim Possible. He'd been worried that his mother, the pixie scouts, or, worst of all, Frugal Lucre had penetrated his defenses. "Shego, deal with …"

The green-hued villainess had taken off her earphones when she heard the alarm sound. She found herself looking at a clearly befuddled Drakken.

"Yo, Doctor D, you okay?" Shego asked.

"What's he doing here?" Drakken replied.

"He? Who?" Shego said before she turned around to see a red-faced Steve Barkin behind her. "Stevie?" Her gaze then fell on the Hencho helmet. "Tell me you weren't going to put that thing on me. I mean, what were you thinking?"

"All's fair in love and war?" Barkin protested lamely.

"I'll buy the war part," Shego said as she fired up her glow power.

"Okay, time to go, nice to see you, we're out of here," Ron said as he grabbed Barkin and yanked him backwards.

At that moment, Kim dropped into the lair.

"You looking for your buffoon?" Shego asked as she hooked a thumb in Ron's direction.

Kim glared at Shego through narrowed eyes. "He is not a buffoon. Though he is so totally busted."

"Ya think?" Shego said as she dropped into an attack stance.

"Oh yeah," Kim agreed as she readied herself for the fight. "I don't know what he was thinking giving Mr. Barkin that Attitudinator."

"You're telling me," Shego agreed as she loosed off a couple of blasts at Kim, who deftly avoided the assault and then counter-attacked, sending a spin kick Shego's way.

Ron and Barkin were retreating to safety when a squad of red-suited goons with energy staffs rushed into the room. The teen once again grabbed his teacher's arm and began running. Meanwhile, Kim dodged one of Shego's counterblows and followed it up with a sweep kick, knocking her foe off balance. The henchwoman hit the ground hard.

As Shego hit the floor a second group of goons appeared, running right into Ron and Barkin, who were trying to evade the first group of henchmen. One of the hired muscle hit Barkin square in the chest, jarring the Attitudinator and sending the device flying. The helmet traced a graceful arc, lofting up towards the roof before heading back down to the lair's floor. It hit the ground and bounced once, twice …

Shego took advantage of the commotion to kick out and knock Kim off balance. The teen hero lost her footing, stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, just in time to have the Attitudinator take a third gentle bounce and, in an impressive instance of the odds of extreme probability at work, land atop her head. The teen hero's eyes shot wide open as the device activated.

"Uh oh," Rufus said.

"Oh this is so not good," Ron said as he watched his GF's body flinch as if she was being jolted. His worries were confirmed when the Attitudinated Kim turned and flashed a predatory grin at him and a death stare at the goons, who quickly scattered. She picked up the helmet and sauntered over to Ron, who was sprawled on the floor.

"You know what I like?" she asked as she looked down at her BFBF.

"Puppies? Lower insurance rates?" Ron squeaked.

"Nuh uh. I like the bad boys," she answered before she slammed the Attitudinator onto Ron's head.

The device began glowing and Ron's body jerked. A few moments later, Kim pulled the helmet off of Ron.

"Kimberly Ann Possible!" he cried out.

"It's Kimila, to you, bad boy," she said with a sultry voice and a seductively outthrust hip.

Ron leered at Kim, then the device in her hand. Then a huge grin spread across his face. "You know what? I'm all about the new KP!"

"Spankin'," the auburn-haired teen said. "Now let's ace this place …"

XIV.

Drakken didn't expect to be dope slapped, Shego was caught off guard by the sucker punch and noogie, and Barkin didn't even want to think about the wedgie. Kim and Ron used the time gained by their surprise assault to good advantage, making off with one of Drakken's flying cars.

Having overcome the embarrassment of being taken down by Kim and Ron in such sophomoric fashion, Shego was able to let her fury run free. She turned on Barkin.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" she yelled. "Zorpox was bad enough, but Evil Kimmie? What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?"

Barkin's shoulders sagged. "Look, I just wanted to get Miss Go back …"

Shego rolled her eyes.

"… Excuse me for having feelings, lady. I've never met anyone like you and I hated losing you, okay?"

"You could have said something!" Shego yelled.

"I tried," Barkin retorted. "It's kind of hard to tell someone you enjoyed going out with them when you're being mauled by crazed dogs!"

"He has a point, Shego," Drakken interjected.

"Yuh huh," Rufus added.

"Butt out, you two," she said threateningly before she turned to Barkin. "Okay, you've got a point." Then she took a deep breath. "Look, I kind of enjoyed going out with you, too. You're okay."

"Really?" Barkin asked. "You mean that? Even without the ray?"

"Yeah," she said. "Coming by with flowers was sweet. Though the ukulele has got to go," she added as she jabbed him in the chest. "And the checked sport jacket. That thing's as lame as one of Drakken's plans."

"I heard that," the blue-skinned mad scientist huffed.

"So, you'll go out on another date with me?" Barkin asked as he nervously shuffled his feet.

"Yeah," Shego said with a grin that quickly turned into a scowl. "But we should probably stop Zorpox and his annoying girlfriend."

"Wait, don't you mean Possible and her dopey boyfriend?"

"Zorpox may be many things but dopey ain't one of them, Sport."

"What do you mean?"

"That ray not only unleashed Stoppable's inner villain, it also unleashed his inner genius."

"Stoppable? A genius? Don't make me laugh!" Barkin said with a chuckle that petered out when he saw the grim expression on Shego's face. "You're serious."

"Don't get more serious than this," she said. "Those two are pretty solid. Don't know why, don't know how. That's bad enough when they're good. But right now, as much as I hate to say it, those two are probably the two most dangerous villains on the planet …"

"… Then I'm taking them down," Barkin said with disarming zeal. "When I'm done with Stoppable he's going to think the crab walk was a cake walk."

"Uh, you hear anything I just said?" Shego said. "We're not talking about a couple of lippy kids here."

"Now you know what it feels like, Shego," Drakken taunted.

"Not now, Doctor D," she retorted sharply before turning back to Barkin. "Let me spell this out for you, Stevie: Kimmie and the buffoon have gone bad. Rotten to the core. Evil as in, gee, it's Tuesday, let's catch a movie and take over the world."

"That will just make giving them detention that much more satisfying," Barkin said with a look worthy of Ahab setting out on his quest for the great white whale.

"You're really serious, aren't you?" Shego asked, both impressed and appalled by Barkin's determination.

"No student gives Steve Barkin a wedgie," he answered without a trace of humor.

"Okay, I'll help you stop them," Shego said before glaring at Barkin. "But it's not because I'm going back to being a hero," she protested.

"Uh huh," Rufus, who'd reappeared, said. "Hero."

"I don't think so, rodent," Shego said sharply. "I just don't want Kimmie taking over the world," the villainess groused. "She'd probably make us all wear lame-o lime green crop tops and outdated capris."

Rufus thought about that and nodded.

"So, what say we catch Possible and Stoppable, then a movie?" Barkin asked.

Shego looked into Barkin's eyes, flashed him a winning smile and took his hands in hers. "You got a deal, Sport."

XV.

"Ron, you can't be serious," Kim snapped.

"What are you talking about, KP?" Ron responded. "This place is perfect – it has a great view of the surrounding area, one entrance, and is easily defended!"

"That so doesn't change the fact that it's still a tree house," she said.

"True," Ron said. "But soon it will be a tree lair protected by a state-of-the-art force field and self-activated lasers. I'm sure we can get everything we need to amp this place up from Hencho. So, what do you say?" he asked as he approached Kim and wrapped his arms around her slender waist.

Kim smiled at her BFBF. "Okay, Zorpox. You win. We'll have a tree lair. But until this place is ready, I want something secure."

"What, you don't feel secure in the Rondo's arms?" he asked with a goofy grin.

"Oh, puh-leeze. Someone save me from Captain Romance," she said with a smirk.

"Okay, then how about one of those time share lairs?" Ron asked.

"Now you're talking. A time share lair would be spankin'," Kim answered before she pulled her man in for a hungry, uninhibited kiss.

XVI.

"Look, I'm telling you, if I were Kimmie and her buffoon, that's what I'd do. And I think I know what I'm talking about. I am the villain here!" Shego said heatedly.

"That's all well and fine," Barkin replied dismissively. "But I'm telling you I'm right. I'm the one who's dealt with them on an almost daily basis for more than three years. I understand how their twisted teen minds work."

Shego scowled.

Barkin fumed.

Rufus slapped his little head. He wanted to throw up his little arms in disgust but realized that the lippy henchwoman and the bull-headed martinet were at present his best option for returning his human and his human's mate to normal.

The naked mole rat began chittering and flailing his arms. The first to notice him was Drakken. "Uh, Shego, I think the pink weasel thing is trying to get your attention."

"Huh?" she said, distracted from her burgeoning argument with Barkin. "What is it?"

Rufus pointed at Shego, then Barkin. Then he made eyes, and kissy-face motions.

"You want us to make out?" Shego asked. "Listen carefully, rodent: I don't watch peep shows and I don't give 'em."

Rufus slapped his forehead again.

Barkin rubbed his chin. "I think he's telling us that we like each other …"

"Well, doy, we know that," Shego said sarcastically.

"… So maybe we should remember we're on the same team."

Rufus flashed Barkin a big thumb's up.

"Okay, how'd you know that?" Shego demanded. "You got some freaky talk-to-the-animals powers I should know about?"

"No. Well, yes, if you're referring to the sophomore boys five minutes before lunch period," Barkin said before continuing, "I work with teenagers. If I can understand them, I can understand anyone. So," he asked, shifting gears. "You're a new villain: what would you do first?"

"Set up a lair," Shego said.

"How?" Barkin asked.

"Find the right spot, pull out my checkbook, and call Jack Hench."

"Only if you want to be overcharged," Drakken chimed in.

"Doc, he overcharges," Shego said using air quotes, "because his stuff works. Unlike that of a certain blue-skinned world-conquering-wannabe I know."

"Nnnnnnnng!" Drakken responded. "You know what we've said about hurting with our words?"

"We do not have time for this," Barkin interjected. "How long would it take to outfit this hypothetical lair?"

"Fourteen days, ten if you spring for express shipping," Shego said.

"So what happens in the meantime?" Barkin asked. "Where do they stay?"

"Time share lair," Shego said. "They're convenient, affordable, and the good ones have cable and free wi-fi access."

"So you think Possible and Stoppable will get one of these time share lairs?"

"Yeah," Shego said. "Though what they'll do there is beyond me. It's not like they'll have any evil weaponry at their disposal."

"Oh, I know what they'll do," Barkin confidently said with a gleam in his eye.

"This another teen thing?" Shego asked caustically.

"You were a teacher. You worked with teens," Barkin shot back. "What would you do if you were seventeen, had suddenly lost your moral compass due to a freak personality modification ray accident and had your own place where you could hang with the person you were dating free of adult supervision?"

Shego looked blankly at Barkin before dawning awareness struck her. "Make out."

"Affirmative," Barkin added.

"I still don't care if they're evil," Shego said, shaking her head. "I just can't see Princess making out with anyone until she's, oh, 35."

"Then you haven't seen her and Stoppable," Barkin seethed. "You'd think those two had never heard of PDA rules. I mean, first they're kissing in A Hall, next thing you know they'll be assaulting the very foundations of Western Civilization!"

"Calm down, Sport," Shego said. "So, Kimmie and Stoppable like to swap spit. You know, this could work to our advantage."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Oh, yeah," Shego answered with a pleased grin. "I'm serious. Way serious."

XVII.

"So, can the Bad Boy steal second?" Ron asked as kissed Kim's jaw.

"No," she said, surprising him.

Ron pulled back and looked at his newly evil GF, confusion etched on his face. His puzzlement was met by a smoldering smile.

"You can't steal what someone is giving you," she said as she moved one of his large hands to a place that he'd only dreamed of touching.

"Booyah," he said in awe.

"Booyah indeed," she replied breathily.

XVIII.

"You rent a place to a couple of teens, a pretty red-headed girl with green eyes and a blond guy with freckles and big ears?" Barkin asked the clerk behind the registration desk of the time share lair facility.

"Sorry, can't tell you," the clerk, a doughy, pimply kid in his early twenties said. "Customer confidentiality."

Barkin frowned.

"Let me handle this," Shego said before firing up her glow power and shoving her hands in the clerk's face. "What was that about confidentiality?" Much to Shego's surprise, she was answered by a shimmering force field that now separated her from the man who had the information she sought. "Hey! You can't do that to me!"

"Whatever," the clerk said.

Rufus, who had been riding in Barkin's outside coat pocket, clambered up the man's shoulder and ducked into his blazer.

"Hey!" the teacher protested when Rufus emerged with a money clip. "What do you think you're doing?"

Rufus ignored Barkin and tapped on the force field. The clerk looked up and saw the naked mole rat holding a crisp twenty.

"Hey, now this little dude talks my language!" the kid said before looking up at a stunned Barkin and Shego. "So, what was it you wanted to know?"

XIX.

Rufus did whatever it is he does and opened the door to the lair, disarming the unit's defense mechanisms in the process. He took a bow and waved Shego and Barkin in.

The teacher and henchwoman tip-toed in, looking for their targets.

They both went bug-eyed when they saw clothing being tossed over the back of a couch.

"Oh, yes! You are such the bad boy!" Kim said huskily.

"Hey, I know what my KP likes," Ron replied.

"Spankin'," Kim cooed.

"Don't mind if I do," Ron countered.

"Oh, man, I think I'm gonna hurl," Shego said to herself before she focused on Rufus, who was clearly agitated. "What is it?"

Rufus' eyes just darted back and forth while he wrung his little paws.

Barkin looked from the mole rat to the couch. "He's worried they're going to do something stupid."

"Uh huh!"

"Great. Now I'm saving Kimmie's virtue," Shego said with a roll of the eyes. "Okay, let's get this done with. Rodent, you go find the Attitudinator and make the adjustments Possible's computer nerd cooked up. Stevie and I will get the lovebirds' attention."

"Hokay!" Rufus chirped, pleased to be shifting into action.

Shego and Barkin walked over to the couch and looked over its back. They saw that Kim and Ron in an advanced state of undress, wearing just their underwear, and wholly lost in their make-out session.

"Cute underwear, Princess," Shego said. "For your grandmother."

Kim's eyes shot open.

"Stoppable, you ready for another double date? I thought we could take the ladies to a poetry reading."

Ron's hand stopped exploring.

"You are so busted, Shego!" Kim snarled.

"You, too, Stevie," Ron added as he got off the couch and dropped into an attack stance.

"Meh," Shego said with a wave of the hand. "Big words from a little girl playing at being a woman."

"You so did not just call me a little girl!" Kim snapped as she jumped over the back of the couch and, using the back like a balance beam, swung her legs forward, driving her feet into Shego's solar plexus.

"So, let's see who's the real man now," Ron taunted as he did an advanced monkey kung fu jump that brought him down behind Barkin, a position the teen used to great advantage as he pivoted and kicked his teacher in the small of the back, sending the large man tumbling.

Kim and Ron grinned as they looked at the fallen Shego and Barkin and exchanged high-fives. They then heard a rustling sound.

In the middle of the floor was the Attitudinator. And on top of it was a waving Rufus. "Hullo!" the mole rat said before he hit a button on the modified device sending a blue beam towards a shocked Evil Team Possible.

XX.

Barkin and Shego stood in front of the door to the lair.

"Thanks for a fun evening," Shego said.

"My pleasure," he said before he began chuckling.

"What?"

"Sorry, but the memory of Stoppable in his Fearless Ferret boxers going on about Possible's father sending him to a black hole is going to make me laugh for a long time."

Shego joined in the laughter. "I know what you mean. I didn't know that Princess could blush so much. She was as red as her hair!"

Barkin and Shego looked at one another.

"You did good work out there," Barkin said.

"Thanks."

"So you sure you don't want to be a hero again?"

"Nah," Shego said. "I like my life the way it is."

"I see," Barkin said flatly.

"You do realize that the way it is now includes you," Shego said. "Assuming you still want to see me, me being evil and all."

"You know, I told myself I'd never date a supervillain again, but sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"And what exactly would that be, Sport?" the glamorous henchwoman asked saucily.

Steve Barkin grinned, wrapped his arms around Shego's waist, and pulled her in for a kiss.

_The End._


End file.
